Waiting

Tick tock. Tick tock. Countdown? Or is it just waiting for time to pass? Waiting for an answer to present itself? A dozen of questions waiting to be answered. There doesn't seem to be doors opening or even windows to climb through. It just feels like my place is in a corner of a room where I stare into emptiness. There is nowhere to go. No where to run. Or just the thought of helpessness. Not knowing which way to go.

The future seems bright. But now and then dark clouds pass by. The rumblings in the heavens start.  A warning that soon the storm is about to come. The cliché of days or minutes in my head. The constant thoughts that fill my mind when I stare into the emptiness. People seem to think that they understand. They think that they get the whole picture. What should I do? Or more appropriately, "Which version of me am I willing to show?" Bright and sunny. So put-together-me. Not wanting to be judged. Not wanting to be revealed. Wanting to be accepted and affirmed.

Where is the joy? Where has it gone? Was it even there in the first place? Or is sinicism my home? Do I thrive in my loneliness and despair? Does anyone ever notice the empty shell in the corner? Pick it up. Listen. No waves. Now winds. Just silence. But the storm is brewing. Soon it will be in its real element. But, it never  really picks up. The constant rumblings that never end.